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Sleepovers: Most of the Parents are saying not to Sleepovers



Sleepovers: For years, parents have fought over “The Great Sleepover Debate,” and now the debate has found a new home on TikTok.
Parents debate whether sleepovers are healthy or detrimental, explaining their decisions, justifying their caution on occasion, and frequently condemning their critics.

Many of the Tik Tok users viewpoints on Sleepovers


“My children will not be allowed to have sleepovers,” TikTok user @toriyav said in one video, and “you never know what goes on behind closed doors” in another.
“I understand and support your choice,” some commenters commented. “You can’t control everything,” one person observed, while another wrote, “sleepovers were some of my (best) childhood memories.”
“Some things are more important than ‘fun,'” TikTok user @bmcpher captioned a news report about child sexual assault on a video with the on-screen text “Why No Sleepovers.”
“I don’t agree with sleepovers for the same reason,” one user remarked, while another added, “just because that happened doesn’t imply it will happen again.”

Why many Parents are not liking Sleepovers

For a multitude of reasons, including cultural differences and fears of abuse, parents oppose sleepovers.
Sleepovers, on the other hand, is a critical developmental stage for children, according to child development experts, as they help them navigate independence, practise flexibility, and acquire exposure to other family customs.
Sleepovers may push some parents to their limits, but they are an important way for children to practise separation from their caretakers.
According to experts, parents who don’t think sleepovers are good for their kids should think about other ways for them to learn self-efficacy and adaptability.

The issue of Safety for Children | Sleepovers

“There’s a fine line between raising kids who understand things like good touch, bad touch, when to heed their spidey sense that something isn’t safe, how to call home for help, when to extricate themselves from a bad situation and… raising kids who are afraid to go out in the world,” according to Phyllis Fagell, a school counsellor and author of “Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond –
According to Fagell, the parental culture in the United States has become excessively overprotective. If a parent is opposed to sleepovers, even at the house of someone the host knows and trusts, parents must consider why.
“As parents, I believe that if your decision not to have sleepovers on fear, I would advise you to take a step back and ask yourself, “What is my anxiety?” she stated

Why are some parents preceding sleepovers due to culture, abuse fears, and disruption?

Fagell is an American mother of three who grew up with sleepovers for all of her children.
She explained, “It’s something I’m accustomed to and comfortable with.” “As a K-8 school counsellor, I believe it is much more nuanced.”
Some parents, according to Fagell, come from cultures where sleepovers are not common. Therefore they find them strange and unneeded.
According to some parents, sleepovers contribute to behavioural issues or family disruptions and aren’t worth the recuperation time.
Others are concerned that their children would be abusive or exposed to abuse while sleeping at someone else’s house, a fear that is especially strong among parents who have experienced abuse.

Teen parents are concerned that their children may make unhealthy or dangerous decisions

When deciding whether or not to let their child sleep someplace else, parents face a variety of concerns, as seen by the breadth of opposition.
While some parental fears are justified, others, according to experts, may be catastrophized.
Accommodating concerns is not a healthy method to deal with them, and it can harm children’s ability to withstand discomfort.

‘It’s a rite of passage,’ says the author | Sleepovers

Sleepovers are a “rite of passage,” according to Mary Alvord, a psychologist and author of the “Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescents.”
“Sleepovers assist children in gaining independence,” she explained. “From a development standpoint, that is critical.”
Separation anxiety, worries, and even phobias can emerge in youngsters who aren’t allowed to experience independence, according to Alvord, when they leave their caretakers and enter new environments.
Sleepovers are a great approach to teach cognitive mental flexibility because children will invariably encounter items at a friend’s house that are different from their own.
A child who eats cereal every morning might discover that pancakes are the norm at another kitchen table.

Minimize risk by teaching safety | Sleepovers

When it comes to their children’s safety and well-being, it’s neither realistic nor healthy for parents to try to eliminate all hazards.
“There is no such thing as a world without risk,” Alvord added. “As a result, you minimize it. That, I believe, is our responsibility as parents.”
Parents and children might begin by staying with a trusted grandparent and working their way up to a friend when it comes to sleepovers.
Parents should know who their children are sleeping with, but children and their parents must also be prepared to bear some uncertainty.
“One sort of risk is a social risk,” Fagell explained. “You want to make sure that kids are attentive, aware of their surroundings, that they’re paying attention to the indicators inside their bodies.
They are capable of making good, safe, healthy decisions for themselves, but that they’re not scared to meet new people, take chances, and try new things.”

Disclose of Children’s feelings to Parents

Experts suggest that reducing risk involves teaching children that their bodies are their own and that anxiety is the body’s method of communicating.
When a child’s older brother starts watching something inappropriate on TV or when their pals start mixing juice boxes and vodka, they are experiencing it.
It’s critical to teach kids that worry isn’t something to be afraid of but rather something to pay attention to.
Perhaps most significant, according to Alvord, is that children feel comfortable disclosing when something bothers them.
“It’s about ensuring that children understand that they can tell their parents anything,” she explained.

Empathy and acceptance are two important lessons to learn

Parents who opt to prohibit sleepovers must validate their children’s sentiments, according to experts. Those kids could feel left out, irritated, or resentful.
“Validating doesn’t mean you agree with their position,” Fagell explained. “It just means that you comprehend and sympathize.”
Parents can talk to their children about other options for meeting their child’s needs, such as a “sleep under,” when a child remains late at a friend’s house but eventually returns home to sleep, or a family camping vacation with a family they know.
Children whose pals are not allowed to sleep over should be encouraged to develop acceptance and empathy, according to Fagell.
“Helping their child understand that not everyone has the same cultural experience is one-way parents may teach their children to welcome diversity and be good friends.
Sleepovers aren’t seen in the same manner by everyone. That does not imply that that peer is inferior, “she stated, “It’s an opportunity to think about how you can engage them, keep them a part of the group, and make sure they don’t feel left out.”
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